EQ vs. IQ

We crank up a new series that is going to help you be what God has destined for you to be.  We are going to explore one of the most important skills that you can develop in your walk with the Lord, "managing your emotions'. This topic is huge, I'm pumped about bringing it and you need to bring anyone and everyone you know who has ever: been divorced, gotten fired from a job, is currently unemployed, dropped out of school, had trouble with the law, can't seem to get it together in life.  This series is for you and for them.  It's the #1 predictor of success in high schoolers lives.  I'd have every teenager that I could fit in a a van here this Sunday.  This will change your life if you open your heart to what God is saying.  You can live the life you dream, you just have to change through the grace of God.

5 Emotions You Need to Manage Part III of a series

Today I want to talk about the 5 emotions that every person has to manage. I say 5 because research has shown that all the emotions that we label can be boiled down to these 5.

1. Happiness

• You might not think that you needed to manage happiness but check this verse.

Luke 10:20 (NLT)

20 But don’t rejoice because evil spirits obey you; rejoice because your names are registered in heaven.”

• Jesus told the disciples they were happy about the 'wrong' things.  Wow.
• Notice that happiness based on "you" is to be avoided.
• Happiness based on what Jesus has done for you is to be encouraged.
• Much sin is entered into because someone is not able to manage a "happy" moment in their lives and so they feel entitled to do whatever.
• I wonder how many people woke up Monday and regretted their actions of Sunday night just because their team, the Packers, won the Super Bowl. 
• Managing happiness is being sure to be happy about the right kind of things.

2. Sadness

Luke 18:23-24 (NLT)

23 But when the man heard this he became very sad, for he was very rich. 24 When Jesus saw how sad the man was, he said, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the Kingdom of God!

• Jesus saw his sadness.  It obviously wasn't about the money.
• Disappointments, discouragement, unmet expectations all can send us into a state of depression.
• Sadness unmanaged leads to depression.
• Depression is the #1 reason why people miss work. 
• Huge $$$ is spent medicating those who can't manage this emotion of sadness.
• You can overcome sadness by being thankful and giving praise.

3. Anger

Ephesians 4:26 (NLT)

26 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry,

• It's all about who's in control, you or the emotion.
• Don't let anger control you.
• Probably more jobs have been lost, relationships broken, bridges have been burned because of outburst of anger. 
• Anger is an inner pressure that builds up because things do go like you want them to go.  It has to be released.
• If it comes out in words/actions then damage is almost always done or you can release it by forgiving. 
• You can choose to manage you anger by choosing to forgive.  Remember that forgiveness is choice you make in faith not a feeling.

4. Fear

Psalm 55:4-6 (NLT)

4 My heart pounds in my chest. The terror of death assaults me. 5 Fear and trembling overwhelm me, and I can’t stop shaking. 6 Oh, that I had wings like a dove; then I would fly away and rest!

• Fear is another emotion that needs to be managed.  
• Fear is left unmanaged cause us to run away from issues that we need to face.
• Most times when God interacted with people He said to them, "Fear not". 
• It's the anxiety that we feel as if something bad will happen, when there is no real reason for it.
• Fear not dealt with causes us to stay in places God never intended for us to stay.
• The only solution is to obey the Lord even if you are afraid.  
• Fear will disappear when you obey anyway and realize that it was only the emotion of fear trying to keep you from being obedient.

5. Shame

1 John 3:20 (NLT)

20 Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.

• All of us have said or done something that causes us to feel shame afterwards. 
• How do we handle it?  Many quit attending rather than deal with the shame of past mistakes.
• God is greater than our feelings.  What a great verse!  Knowing and believing what God says about you should trump your feelings every day.
• Jesus broke the power of guilt on the cross.  You don't have to live with those feelings anymore.
• God's word has greater significance than our feelings.  

It's only natural for us to be controlled by our emotions, I mean they feel so real.  When we are born again, we begin a life of faith.  I was born emotional, but I'm born again faithful.  Ask the Holy Spirit to help you manage those emotions that are keeping you from living your dream.

No. 1 Predictor of Success Part 2

Yesterday, I started a blog series about a topic that I believe could be a reason for much of what we struggle through in life.  We all want success, but really only a few ever find true biblical success.  The No. 1 predictor of success for your christian walk,  your child after high school, or your life relationally is how well you can manage your emotions.


TalentSmart@ conducted a survey and found that ONLY 36% of those tested were able to identify their emotions as they happened.  Are you kidding me?  How can you manage something that you can't even recognize?  Let me ask you a question, "How well can you identify the emotions that you are going through?"  So that means that roughly 2/3 of people aren't fully in tune with themselves to be able to know their own emotions.  Now we know why so many never experience success in relationships or in life.  Helps explain the divorce rate, the high school drop out rates, and church drop out rates.  I want to outline 4 parts to this important concept of EQ or emotional quotient so that you can begin to ask God to help you grow in each one.

Categories of EQ


1. Self Awareness:


Psalm 139:23-24 (NLT)
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

• The most important discover in your life after Christ will be self discovery.
• You have got to become aware of what's going on in you.
• Not a given, so many live in denial about their true feelings.
• Have you ever been angry, but denied it to your spouse?  

2. Self management

Psalm 4:4 (NLT)

4 Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.

• Can we manage our emotions? Who's in control? You or your emotion?
• Ever had a time when you knew you should have kept quiet, but you just had to say "it"?
• Too often we spend our energy trying to control others, instead of managing ourselves.

3. Social Awareness

Romans 14:13 (NLT)

13 So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.

• I've become aware of how much emphasis the Holy Spirit placed on "others" when having the New Testament written by Paul and friends.
• 225 times Paul and the writers of the other epistles mention others.
• You need to always be aware of the others you are around and consider their emotions.
• I'm amazed at the things I hear people say in public. 
• We all just roll eyes, and talk about it back in our cars or homes, but we have to consider who's listening, all the time.
• I talk differently when I'm with my staff vs. when I'm in the pulpit.  It's not hypocrisy it's wisdom.  Different when I'm with lost vs. believers, denominational vs. us.
• You always have to be aware of who's around you.

4. Relationship management

Matthew 26:50 (NLT)

50 Jesus said, “My friend, go ahead and do what you have come for.” Then the others grabbed Jesus and arrested him.

• Jesus told this to Judas as he was about to betray Him. 
• Jesus had to manage His emotions to call Judas , "friend".
• You will lose valuable relationships without the ability to manage your emotions.
• One of the reasons for high divorce rates.

No 1 Predictor of Success

I've recently read some studies that I find fascinating because they just confirm that God's Word is true.  A study was done which revealed that when people with hi IQ's outperformed those with average IQ's only 20% of the time where the average IQ people did better 70% of the time.  One would think hi IQ people would outperform average IQ individuals the majority of the time because of their higher intelligence.  This strange finding yielded research that finally explained the importance of EQ or emotional intelligence.

EQ is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, as well as the ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships.


It turns out that a person's emotional intelligence(EQ) is the No. 1 predictor of a person's success in their lives no matter what their educational background.  The ability to identify, manage your emotions and those of others has more to do with your success than your measured intelligence.  How wrong we've gotten it in our message to young people.  We harp on education, and I'm all for it, but we often neglect the most meaningful skills.  You can't do much about your IQ but you can develop your EQ.  I think about how this applies to church life and what my dad has told me from his 50+ years in ministry.  My dad said, "The #1 reason people leave churches is because of offense".  That's just a failure to manage one or more of their emotions.

Your EQ is comprised of 4 Catagories:

1. Self-Awareness
2. Self-Management
3. Social awareness
4. Relational management

I'll talk more about these tomorrow and the 5 emotions that you have to manage in your life.
    

Paving The Way

Just like in football, churches need to move the ball down the field and score.  The Israelites were commanded to take the land, in other words to take ground.  Move the ball down the field.  Our Sundays and Wednesdays are the bread and butter plays.  They help us take ground one step at a time but every good team has to stretch the field, go long, go for the touchdown in one play.  That's what Paving The Way(PTW) is for Household of Faith.  Every week we run the ball: meet in homes, meet at the church, love, serve.  There is alot of biblical precedence for going long.  When David had expanded the nation of Isreal and secured it's safety, it was time to build God a house, the Temple.  They went long and his son Solomon scored a huge touchdown.  When Nehemiah saw the land in disrepair and the walls broken down, they went long and built the wall in just a few days.  When Jesus encountered sin and sickness beyond human help, He went long and healed the sick or raised the dead.  There are times when the routine just is not going to be enough.  This is one of those times.  The time is short and we feel like this is our opportunity to go long.  PTW is a 4 part strategic plan:

      1.  Missions: 10% of all that is given will go to missions.
      2.  TV: we can reach 1000's of homes w/ the Good News over and over again.

      3.  Church plant:  Helping Wade and Cynthia fulfill their call to pastor in Tallahassee.  Church planting is the most effective way to reach the lost.

      4.  Repave the parking lot: After years of constant traffic, our lot needs to be repaved to welcome those who will be invited to HOF. 

You know, it takes everyone doing their part to go long for Jesus.  Won't you pray and ask the Lord how He would have you play your part in seeing the Kingdom of God advanced in 2011 more than ever before.  We've done the routine, now it's time to pray and believe God for the miraculous.

The Blessed Life

I'm pumped about what God is doing at "The House" during this Blessed Life series.  These truths are absolutely essential to us being able to "be" the church instead of just having church.  Money is such an integral part of our lives, we use it every day practically, but God uses it as a test of our hearts.  Paving the Way will be an opportunity for you and I to put into practice what God is putting into our hearts.  Sunday is going to be incredible, I already know it.  We'll talk more about PTW(Paving the Way) as well as break down more scripture of Jesus teaching us about generosity.  Here's the question that you'll be able to answer after Sunday, "Am I generous?"  Would you like to know that about yourself?  Gonna unveil a video of Wade and Cynthia that is going to melt your heart.  Soft hearts are good hearts.  Bring a tissue.  Fact.